Dear Birthday Persons,2015 Birthday Greetings Protocol
A mass “Happy Birthday” on Facebook is a generic gesture and in many cases it is one of many generic greetings. This form of birthday greeting does not require a direct acknowledgement. An unnecessary but nice response is to simply “Like” the greeting. Again not required.
A direct text message or messenger greeting is more personal. This greeting is reserved for close friends who do not need the Facebook world to see you said, happy birthday, but more importantly the person themselves. The proper response to a direct happy birthday is a reply of, Thank you. Failure to do so is an insult. It is like saying, I do not care that you care enough to send me a personal greeting.
To those of you who do not adhere to these common social protocols, may your birthdays suck!
Dear Lady who doesn't pick up after her dog,Your karma stinks because you are a nasty ass ho… I will be the first to admit that I hate picking up my dogs big nasty sh!ts. There is nothing worse than the feeling of the gross hot poop through a plastic bag and even worse is having to carry the bag around until you find a trash can, but I do, and so do all the other dog owners.
If I can bend over and pick up my dog’s dumps, so can you. Don’t think we don’t see you do that pretend to bend down and pick it up move, we know you don’t have a bag… or the look away move where you act like you did not see him poop! You’re not fooling anybody!
Might I say, put your dog’s poop in a bag you nasty old hag…
Beware, the neighborhood poop watch has their eye on you.
Dear Selfish People,Your karma stinks because you only care about yourself and how you feel. You won’t tell the truth to save the world, I would say to save your souls but you can’t save what you don’t have. All you liars, thieves, cheaters, and users will have nothing but wrinkles and memories of being young and strong. But maybe all of you can start a Golden Birch Retirement Home.
Dear Brenda,Your karma stinks because you have chose to walk away from The Lord as well as your marriage. It’s our christian duty to live for The Lord and we as Christians need just one reason to stay with our lover: the analogy of Christ and his church. If you don’t believe in heaven, divorce can make a lot of sense. Marriage can never remove the trials, but even difficult marriages to difficult men can give women the strength to become the people god created them to be. Make things right with your marriage, don’t give up make things right.