To: Birthday Persons

karmadminKarmic Event: 12187 / Wilton, CT Leave a Comment

Dear Birthday Persons,2015 Birthday Greetings Protocol

A mass “Happy Birthday” on Facebook is a generic gesture and in many cases it is one of many generic greetings. This form of birthday greeting does not require a direct acknowledgement. An unnecessary but nice response is to simply “Like” the greeting. Again not required.

A direct text message or messenger greeting is more personal. This greeting is reserved for close friends who do not need the Facebook world to see you said, happy birthday, but more importantly the person themselves. The proper response to a direct happy birthday is a reply of, Thank you. Failure to do so is an insult. It is like saying, I do not care that you care enough to send me a personal greeting.

To those of you who do not adhere to these common social protocols, may your birthdays suck!

To: Jerry

karmadminKarmic Event: 9234 / Sparta, WI    Leave a Comment

Dear Jerry,Your karma stinks because what u did to Karen! I CANT believe it! She’s been good to u all this time! I’ve been reading her fb and what she puts on there…I can read between the lines! I’ve been her friend for a LONG time…I’ve figured it out…I told her to LEAVE you….but she said she wanted to “work” thru her feelings…its been a while and she’s still with u….u are one lucky SOB. I wanted to help her find someone else.

To: Thanksgiving Host

karmadminKarmic Event: 8237 / FARMINGTON, CT

Dear Thanksgiving Host,

Your karma stinks because every year we do this dance. I ask what can I bring. I am grateful that you are kind enough to host.  But can you please just tell me what I can do!!!  When you respond, just bring yourself, we know that is the start of the turkey dance. I say I want to help, you reply thank you but we are good.  The endless loop of please and no just bring yourself is unnecessary.

First we know if I show up without anything I will be the post holiday topic of Mr Freeloader.  Second it’s better to just generalize app or desert and let me do the rest.  In the end I will over compensate by bringing both plus enough wine beer and whiskey to have the whole family buzzed for Black Friday. To end the topic, we could all avoid the turkey dance if you’d just tell me what I could bring.

Many thanks,

The Karmic Avenger
#thekarmicavenger

To: Retailers of America

karmadminKarmic Event: 8227 / LOS ANGELES, CA 2 Comments

Dear Retailers of America,,Your karma stinks because you are open for business Thanksgiving Day. It’s a day for family, not shopping.

 

To: Neighbor

karmadminKarmic Event: 8198 / NEW MILFORD, CT Leave a Comment

Dear Neighbor,Your karma stinks because you send your kids out for candy on Halloween and keep your lights off so no one comes to your house.

 

To: Jerry

karmadminKarmic Event: 8081 / RICHMOND, VA Leave a Comment

Dear Jerry,Your karma stinks because of your constant ‘LIKE if you hate cancer’ posts. No one’s on the fence. Please stop.

 

To: Instagram Quote Girl

karmadminKarmic Event: 7985 / NEW HAVEN, CT Leave a Comment

Dear Instagram Quote Girl,Your karma stinks because I can’t read another empowering, letting go, healing, quote picture in my feed! Let’s review the cycle of madness, first we have the crazy girls night out pic! The look at us, we don’t need boys to have fun we are crazy and independent ladies. Then we have the I am in love pics… the love is so wonderful he is the one. And finally, the never ending cycle that repulses me! The he was a douche bag and I am hurt but healing pics. The quote pics that never end! 4-5 picture quotes a day with drama and pity party screaming out I want attention for being that dumb girl who picked the wrong guys AGAIN! Just a small suggestion, stop selecting men based on deep criteria like, he was tall or he drank the same shots as me… or the fact that he was “swole” with tattoos. You have been put on notice, I am unfollowing you and all your insta-quote-girls…

Many thanks,

The Karmic Avenger
#thekarmicavenger

To: Jeff

karmadminKarmic Event: 7974 / San Fransisco, CA    Leave a Comment

Dear ,Your karma stinks because you have a recent OkCupid profile and you’re married. Not OK.