Dear Fil,Your karma stinks because you stink. Maintain discipline and follow protocol.
Be
Loving and
Open with
My
Emotions
To: Aunalyce
Dear Aunalyce,You’re pretty much perfect in every way and I’m in love with you. Even though you have a boyfriend and all I’m still in love with you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes and I know you’ll never ever realize who I am.
To: Hipster buying coffee in West LA
Dear Hipster buying coffee in West LA,Your karma stinks because you think you are so hilarious when you give the baristas your ridiculous fake coffee shop names and they get flustered. You were Jebediah Oberon 2 days ago (OK, I admit it was memorable) and today you were Bartholomew Jedi. If you are trying to flirt bro, it’s not working. All you do is slow the line down and look like an ass. Might be better just to go by Dick.