Dear Retailers of America,,Your karma stinks because you are open for business Thanksgiving Day. It’s a day for family, not shopping.
Dear Karma,My karma stinks because I cheated during the final round of Pictionary while playing against 2 deaf players. I didn’t know how to draw a difficult word. I “dropped” my pencil and when I bent down to pick it up, I whispered ‘imagination’, the word my team mate had to guess. We won but I felt bad.
Dear Hipster buying coffee in West LA,Your karma stinks because you think you are so hilarious when you give the baristas your ridiculous fake coffee shop names and they get flustered. You were Jebediah Oberon 2 days ago (OK, I admit it was memorable) and today you were Bartholomew Jedi. If you are trying to flirt bro, it’s not working. All you do is slow the line down and look like an ass. Might be better just to go by Dick.
Dear Karma,I lied. I hid the orange box and couldn’t stop myself. I claimed that the Uncle Ben’s Wild Rice I made for my date was a top secret old family recipe. I have been trying to impress this girl for months and it wasn’t until she ate 4 servings and kept smelling the rice to identify the special spices that I knew I might have a chance. She said it was the best rice she’s ever eaten in her whole life and she could eat it every day. I need to mention that she is from an Asian country and is very particular about rice. I know honesty is the foundation for solid relationships but in this case, a little white lie isn’t hurting anyone.