Dear Annette,I think you are my moms nurse and you were real nice to her. I would like to return the karma and take you to dinner and entertain you for a night or weekend. I hope you are single since you don’t have a ring on. I will mail again soon.
Dear Kim G.,Your karma stinks because you can’t quit being a slut. You go after everyones boyfriend and wonder why you get called names. Get a clue, quit screwing people over especially your friends or even strangers for that matter. Admit yourself to psychiatric hospital and get help. Do everyone a favor and go away.
Dear Creator,Your karma stinks because as a divorced/single man in his 40’s I have come to discover you only make 3 kinds of attractive woman; dumb, crazy, and taken. I am requesting that you become a little more open-minded and add a fourth kind, normal/available. I understand this kind would be a variation not nearly as fun for you, but hook a brother up.
Do you know how frustrating it is to get up the courage to ask a beautiful woman out only to find out that you have met house plants with better personalities? Granted most of them have a Ph.D. in important stuff like shampoo and handbags but that doesn’t help. And the crazy ones, they can be fun. I mean a lot of fun, until you realize the fun is only insanity in disguise. And the most heartbreaking of them all… When you meet a smart, funny, amazing woman and you think to yourself, there has to be something wrong, she is perfect! And then to find out she IS perfect, but for someone else like her boyfriend or husband.
I don’t think I am asking for much. I mean come on, I am a good guy… could you do a limited release, like a collectors set?… please and thank you.
The Karmic Avenger
Your karma stinks because every year we do this dance. I ask what can I bring. I am grateful that you are kind enough to host. But can you please just tell me what I can do!!! When you respond, just bring yourself, we know that is the start of the turkey dance. I say I want to help, you reply thank you but we are good. The endless loop of please and no just bring yourself is unnecessary.
First we know if I show up without anything I will be the post holiday topic of Mr Freeloader. Second it’s better to just generalize app or desert and let me do the rest. In the end I will over compensate by bringing both plus enough wine beer and whiskey to have the whole family buzzed for Black Friday. To end the topic, we could all avoid the turkey dance if you’d just tell me what I could bring.
The Karmic Avenger