Dear Annette,I think you are my moms nurse and you were real nice to her. I would like to return the karma and take you to dinner and entertain you for a night or weekend. I hope you are single since you don’t have a ring on. I will mail again soon.
Dear Lady who doesn't pick up after her dog,Your karma stinks because you are a nasty ass ho… I will be the first to admit that I hate picking up my dogs big nasty sh!ts. There is nothing worse than the feeling of the gross hot poop through a plastic bag and even worse is having to carry the bag around until you find a trash can, but I do, and so do all the other dog owners.
If I can bend over and pick up my dog’s dumps, so can you. Don’t think we don’t see you do that pretend to bend down and pick it up move, we know you don’t have a bag… or the look away move where you act like you did not see him poop! You’re not fooling anybody!
Might I say, put your dog’s poop in a bag you nasty old hag…
Beware, the neighborhood poop watch has their eye on you.
Dear Kim G.,Your karma stinks because you can’t quit being a slut. You go after everyones boyfriend and wonder why you get called names. Get a clue, quit screwing people over especially your friends or even strangers for that matter. Admit yourself to psychiatric hospital and get help. Do everyone a favor and go away.
Dear Creator,Your karma stinks because as a divorced/single man in his 40’s I have come to discover you only make 3 kinds of attractive woman; dumb, crazy, and taken. I am requesting that you become a little more open-minded and add a fourth kind, normal/available. I understand this kind would be a variation not nearly as fun for you, but hook a brother up.
Do you know how frustrating it is to get up the courage to ask a beautiful woman out only to find out that you have met house plants with better personalities? Granted most of them have a Ph.D. in important stuff like shampoo and handbags but that doesn’t help. And the crazy ones, they can be fun. I mean a lot of fun, until you realize the fun is only insanity in disguise. And the most heartbreaking of them all… When you meet a smart, funny, amazing woman and you think to yourself, there has to be something wrong, she is perfect! And then to find out she IS perfect, but for someone else like her boyfriend or husband.
I don’t think I am asking for much. I mean come on, I am a good guy… could you do a limited release, like a collectors set?… please and thank you.
The Karmic Avenger
Your karma stinks because as much as you want to believe it, its not all about the bass. You can’t declare “no treble” that is not an option. You need bass and treble. Granted I will concede that you can minimize the treble, but no treble is not something that can even be on the table. What are we talking about here? A sick mix of death metal and dub step! I’m not suggesting smooth jazz, but we live in a world of bass and treble. So let’s drop the silly premise of a world with only bass.
The Karmic Avenger