To: Birthday Persons

karmadminKarmic Event: 12187 / Wilton, CT Leave a Comment

Dear Birthday Persons,2015 Birthday Greetings Protocol

A mass “Happy Birthday” on Facebook is a generic gesture and in many cases it is one of many generic greetings. This form of birthday greeting does not require a direct acknowledgement. An unnecessary but nice response is to simply “Like” the greeting. Again not required.

A direct text message or messenger greeting is more personal. This greeting is reserved for close friends who do not need the Facebook world to see you said, happy birthday, but more importantly the person themselves. The proper response to a direct happy birthday is a reply of, Thank you. Failure to do so is an insult. It is like saying, I do not care that you care enough to send me a personal greeting.

To those of you who do not adhere to these common social protocols, may your birthdays suck!

To: Scar

karmadminKarmic Event: 11388 / Wilton, CT 1 Comment

Dear Scar,Your karma stinks because you killed your brother Mufasa and let poor Simba think he did it. You are a shitty brother and uncle.

To: Kanye

karmadminKarmic Event: 8462 / New York, NY 1 Comment

Dear Kanye,Your karma stinks because you are a bully and a sore loser. Who made you an expert on artistry? Especially with lyrics like “Don’t try to treat me like I ain’t famous my apologies, are you into astrology cause I’m tryin to make it to Uranus”.

To: Meg C.

karmadminKarmic Event: 8311 / LOS ANGELES, CA Leave a Comment

Dear Meg C.,Your karma stinks because you gave me a silver plate frame to welcome my new daughter and it’s obviously a regift. Apparently you never took it out of the bubble wrap. Wyatt’s initials are engraved front and center. W. S. C. Do the letters also stand for why so cheap?

To: Julie

karmadminKarmic Event: 8276 / MILAN, TN    18 Comments

Dear Julie,Your karma stinks because u just keep hanging on. Kevin doesn’t love u, he has told me so many times, he only married u because we were fighting and to shut u up, Kevin don’t care. he don’t buy u gifts, he told me he has to think about me just to have sex with u, Kevin and me went to see AC/DC in Tacoma, he helped me buy a car, we used to spend weekends in Memphis and go to Tunica. He doesn’t even want to go to a bar with u, u embarress him, he stayed with me more than he did u and he helped furnish my house and pay bills, he also bought my kids nice gifts. He bought me diamond earrings, and we used to party a lot and he would take me to bars because I am younger, we rented motel rooms and I met him at Lambert’s for dinner, we went to Nashville and partied there, we went on a cruise, vactioned and had secret cell phones, but instead of leaving when u found out, u stayed with him.

Don’t worry he cheated on me too, but I aint stupid. I went out until he couldn’t stand it and came back. I hope u read this because u need to wake the hell up and realize Kevin is going to cheat and get what he wants, and I am just like him., we make a great pair, he ain’t done nuthin for u compared to what he has done for me and trying to keep me. but if I call he will come running. Just wanted you to know your ring don’t mean nuthin and give u a heads up so u can be ready. Kevin has been cheating with me for at least 6 years and it isn’t slowing down, sorry but it is what it is lmfao if u only knew he has another phone and email addresses lol but I ain’t telling.

To: Neighbor

karmadminKarmic Event: 7984 / Charlotte, NC    1 Comment

Dear Neighbor,Your karma stinks because you poisoned us at your party with your cheap booze. What’s with putting out Smirnoff vodka for your guests and then, while looking for ice, I see a giant bottle of Ketel One in your freezer?