Dear Sam,Your karma stinks because you’re an effing douchebag. I really want to punch you in your spoiled, pretty boy face. You have no idea how to run a business properly. My hotel is not your playground or personal piggy bank. Learn to manage or gtfo.
Dear Tamie,Your karma stinks because I see the way you carry on! I wonder what management would think of the shit that goes on between you 2! I use to think extremely high of you but what a slut! I am tired of it so I guess a talk to the right people is needed! Maybe you and Robert can carry on in the unemployment line together! I am watching both of you it has gone on to long! Nice house by the way! I really like New Lenox.
Dear Lady who doesn't pick up after her dog,Your karma stinks because you are a nasty ass ho… I will be the first to admit that I hate picking up my dogs big nasty sh!ts. There is nothing worse than the feeling of the gross hot poop through a plastic bag and even worse is having to carry the bag around until you find a trash can, but I do, and so do all the other dog owners.
If I can bend over and pick up my dog’s dumps, so can you. Don’t think we don’t see you do that pretend to bend down and pick it up move, we know you don’t have a bag… or the look away move where you act like you did not see him poop! You’re not fooling anybody!
Might I say, put your dog’s poop in a bag you nasty old hag…
Beware, the neighborhood poop watch has their eye on you.
Dear Microwave food bomber,Your karma stinks because you microwave the living daylights out of your food, so much that it expodes all over the inside of the microwave… CLEAN IT UP. I spent 20 minutes cleaning the inside of the mircowave of unidentifiable junk, I wanted to throw up. I even called CSI, the splatter experts have profiled you as a sick loser with lack of consideration for others… So beware, we have your profile and will be tracking you down. And just like Dexter, we will deal with your serial microwave killing ways!
The Karmic Avenger
Dear Ass Face Client,Your karma stinks because you came in at the last minute with two years of business tax returns for me to prepare. Your data consisted of envelopes of receipts you expected me to categorize one by one, ripped pieces of paper and stick it notes and a few bank statements. I contacted your bookkeeper who refused to help because you owed her money. I quoted you a price that you said was 1/2 of what you were expecting. I paid a contractor to work over the weekend because the IRS said they needed it by Wednesday. I did an awesome job for you in the time frame you indicated.
You did not pay me. You do not answer my e-mails and phone calls. Nothing.
Why? Because your karma stinks and that’s what stinky-karma people do.
Dear Kevin,Your karma stinks because you have consistently ignored my emails and phone calls for the last 3 weeks.